Miserable Day!!!!

Yesterday was miserable, I cried all day long.
I was crying because my boyfriend has decided he needs to move up to Washington State. When he told me I assumed he didn't want me to go with. We have been together for 3 1/2 years and I love this guy! The reason he wants to move is for his 6 year old daughter. I can understand he feels empty without her so I don't blame him at all. I have a son and would die if I couldn't see him everyday. Without knowing all the details I was torn to shreds about the idea.
After working all day I was dreading the fact of going home. But I knew we still had a lot of talking to do. So after I got home I noticed he was sitting at the computer trying to get some recipe to make me dinner. I told him we needed to do some more talking and he agreed. So after my son had gone to bed we started talking and I told him how awful I felt. I asked him if he would want me to go with him and he assumed that I wouldn't want to and that is why he never said anything. He said he didn't want to take me away from my family. I told him that is my decision to make. I told him if it didn't work out between us I could always come back home to Carson City.
You see he has been married 2 times and I have been married 0. I told him when we first got together that I really never wanted to get married. Yeah, I agree I have been talking about it a lot lately and that is because I think about it. I would be crazy not to think about it. Just because I think about it doesn't mean I want to or even that I would have the balls to go through with it. Well he thinks I have been pressuring him and he told me on Sunday that he never wanted to remarry and he thinks he would be holding me back from something that I wanted in life. I told him no way I am absolutley content with the way our relationship is. As long as we are commited to each other I am fine! I honestly think that his ex-wife really did a number on him and I cannot stand evil women who give good women a bad name. Just to get my feelings about her out in the open, I think she is a wicked woman who loves to make other people miserable. And to tell you the truth she has made mine a living hell right up to the day she met her new man. She has suckered him into buying a house with her and hopefully they will get married so she can focus all her wickedness on her new man and less time on mine.

Well, pretty depressed today. Just sitting at work thinking about what I can do to make more money. My boyfriend and I are growing farther and farther apart and I have no idea why. Maybe he is bored with our life together or maybe it is the fact that I have a lot of debt and he is tired of giving me all his money. I would just like to point out that just because all of the bills and credit cards are in my name doesn't mean he hasn't accrued a lot of these charges too. I find myself covering his ass so that he can go out and have fun bowling, or playing pool. I just wish he would have some more responsibility. I am exhausted with trying to be someone that I am not. I feel like I am constantly walking on eggshells around him and I am getting sick of it. I guess I need to get my crap together and decide what I need to do for myself. Afterall, it is my place, my car and my life so get some balls and take control!!!!! Anyone else with me??

Well here it goes, my first blog.
My good friend VCV turned me on to this and I have been reading hers for a while now. It seems like I can't go thru a week without checking hers out.
I am hoping that by doing this it will give me a better outlook on life. Sort of like a diary.
Right now I am sitting at work (Harley Davidson Financial) bored out of my mind. I did get some good news today. I found out that I am getting a raise starting on April 1st. Everyone else got theirs in January. I am such a terrible person for being a little late at times. Won't happen again, I can tell you that much. As big as this company is you'd think it would start their employees off at more than chump change. Oh well, I will be making millions by the year 2040.
Not the most exciting 1st blog but we will just say this is to be continued...